You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
