PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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