I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just googled if crying burns calories
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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