dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
