Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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