I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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