I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
