Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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