Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
