well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
