Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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