I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
