im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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