i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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