I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
