i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
