ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
