I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
