If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
