I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
