what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
