Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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