i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
