Porn is love you can see.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
