I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
