i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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