Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
