Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
