The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
