first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
