He felt like a one man threesome
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
