Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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