Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize