I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize