I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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