We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize