Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
