your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
