think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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