Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Yo dont text me then not text me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
