I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
