so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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