I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im holly from the hills drunk
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
