Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
