This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
