Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think your dad took our porno
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize