So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
