We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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