So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
