I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
