the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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