Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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