i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize