I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize