I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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