the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
