FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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