Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I want is dick and wine.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
