Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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