she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize