Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There's always time for handjobs
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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