her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
