U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
