You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
