I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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