Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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