Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
