I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
